My last blog was about me changing my philosophy on where I fit right now into the world. It was about my point of view and my reminder to take things easy and to ground myself into the knowledge that I have learnt over the past 2 years. A couple of things I’ve learnt – it isn’t easy to slow down. After being a Mum to 4 wonderful children and being there to support them, like most Mums do, its not easy to take time out to nurture yourself. It almost feels guilty to me. I feel like I need to keep stepping in and taking control. Like a Mother hen with her chicks. Anyhow, I’ve pushed aside the guilt for the best part, and I’ve taken time out to nurture myself and do things that I want to do, without any pressure from the “outside” world……. It feels…… ok. Now that I’ve managed to do this for a week or so, it feels ok. I’m not perfect at it but I’m learning to trust myself as I go. I’ve actually managed to let others make decisions and not filled their heads with my idea of real, or truth as I see it. You know I’ve realised the world is ok – it will carry on regardless, and my children have astounded me with their love for each other and their willingness to get on with the job at hand. In my quiet times reflecting on life, I’ve learnt that I’ve done a damn good job at raising these kids, and my heart has filled with pride and joy, its ok to finally let them be the adults they have grown up to be. At one point I actually let out a HUGE sigh of relief…….. I see others in the world progressing, that are the same age as my children, getting on with life, and my kids are just the same. Intelligent, worthwhile beings, with personalities and beautiful futures. It feels absolutely amazing to realise this, and to let myself rest in that knowledge.
In life there are the seasons that we pass through. I don’t feel like I’m in the OLD age season, at all, I feel like I’m in the season where Bernie and I can be Bernie and I again, where we can let go of “parentism” for the want of a better word and enjoy the next stage of being.
So with this new season, comes a time for reflection and learning from ones inner self. To become wise in the lessons that life has taught me, and to practice empathy and joy for those around me. To let others be themselves, and not take on the burden of their “moments” or situations. To see others for the beautiful beings that they are, that have been created for a purpose, just like me.